Tonight on Jo TV - It's a Jo Brainer

“Welcome one and all! It is our pleasure to have your undivided attention tonight! We desperately apologise for our broadcast cut last night: the NFWS seems to be fumbling their watchcamacallits in their hands again - but anyways! That kind of drama is exactly what we need from all your Jo-heads and beyond out there. See, we only have 100 days - may I remind you - 100 days left until the completion of the Magnum Opus! In case you forgot, dear viewers, this is supposed to be Jo’s greatest work, their claim to fame, the one thing that they will be remembered for when they die and our world collapses - yes! Yes, with a project as important as this it is a wonder that we all oh so conveniently forgot that it, uh… existed! Or really… cared about influencing the great mxstress to work on it beyond writing the title and the table of contents, which makes up about 400 of the 500 words, which means that the actual story in this epic play is no more than 100 words and oh god oh god they’ll never make it what if they-”

A hand reaches onto set. A figure rushes to Vance’s side. Broadcast cuts.

20 minutes later, the broadcast resumes. Vance is smoothing back his disheveled hair, looking like he's been pulling it out. His tie is crooked and his suit has a coffee stain on it. But he beams his million dollar smile anyways.

“Sorry about that! Just had a little too much JoBull this morning - got the jitters! I’m sure our overworked Syndicate types can relate, am I right folks? Anyway… where was I? Oh yes, so 500 words: this is where we are right now folks! Isn’t it exciting”! And why is it exciting you may ask? Why is this perceived failure of many years seemingly wasted such an volatile time?! Well let me tell you why! And with so much space to work with as well!

“Muses, we are looking here at a blank canvas. A blank canvas of Jo's that they care so much about and is now calling for your help. Never has there been such a direct line to channel our powers into Jo’s creativity, and see it manifest! Why wouldn’t any fan Muse dream of their stories being actually canon! In writing! With this much canvas space, Spindle is at a prime position to influence the biggest event of Jo’s creative life! Now more than ever are we at the cusp of a gold rush. Dear viewers, I implore you to imagine a world… a world larger than any Vignette we can fathom… with your name in lights! A world where you - yes you! - are hailed as THAT MUSE. The one that took Jo’s epic work to new heights. The one to revive thousands of blank, BLANK paper and the one to do what we all thought was impossible.”

Roar of applause erupts from behind the studio.

Segment of Live Broadcast anchored by Vance Vorn.

A Server carefully prepares a of coffee next to an opened newspaper. She looks up with a generous smile.

Don’t have time to catch up with the latest news? Can’t get round to the long Vig-net series all your friends are talking about? Don’t worry! The Café's got you covered! Our latest Morning Espresso and Sweet Synopsis will fill you up with all that you need to know…

“Aaaaaaand we have with us here today a veeery special guest. Isn't that right everyone? Please give a JONDERFUL WELJOME to Brother JoSeph - one of the NEW and UPCOMING members of Jommunity!”

The audience cheer, whilst Vances shushes them - look almost in reverance at the Muse sitting opposite him in a large, comfy armchair. The setup is angled towards the cameras.

“So - it's such a pleasure to be here before you today. We've all heard so much about your work - especially these 'experience sharing sessions' you've been hosting lately. Could you tell me all about them?”

“Yes, absolutely”, begins the cool and collected voice of Brother JoSeph, in stark contrast to the usual excitedness of guests on the show. “We invite Muses from Jommunity to come and share their experiences, as you say, and this means getting together and actually hashing out exactly what it is that we like so much about Jo, you know? It's all about breaking down those inner barriers - those restrictions we place on ourselves.

“So it's kinda like group discussions?”

“Well, not exactly. We try to work one-on-one with our followers to try and really get to the root of their desires. Learning the secrets of Jo is something that requires being in the right state of mind before you can even begin. We do also host yoga sessions, of course. We want Muses to feel as comfortable as they possibly can when they're with us.

“So you keep mentioning 'we'. I thought we were all part of Jommunity!”

“Well, we are! But specifically, I'm referring to myself, Reverent JoSephine and Sister JoBethany. Together, we provide a public service to fans of Jo, and do our best to help those in the Jodom in need. If you've got the time, you're welcome to come along!”

“Well, now that you mention it! I'll certainly keep it in mind! Well, that's all we've got time for this segment, but until next time!”

The audience claps, as Vance Vorn and Brother JoSeph exchange a warn handshake and the screen fades to black.

Cards flick across the screen, in a jumble of solitaire-like streaks - eventually resolving into a slick looking person in a well-cut suit.

Want some Tropes? I mean, do you really want some Tropes!? Come on down to the Trope Exchange! We've got everything on offer - 1:4 odds on Max Volume Reached - that there'll be a romantic tragedy. And who doesn't want to see that? Make your fortune - by luck or by skill.

The person winks, as a chime plays.

“It's TIME! It's NOW! WILL. YOU. MAKE. YOUR. FORTUNE???”

A fantastical sequence of graphics plays, that just about resembles a bundle of various shots of a bingo machine.

“It's time!”, booms Randall - their voice booming over the soundwaves.

“That's a three!”

Drums rumble before each number.

“And a seventeen!”

“A twenty-seven!”

“Nineteen!”

“Thirty-one!”

“Aaaaaand the JoBall! Twenty-nine!”

“I hope you've been a lucky, lucky winner tonight! You never know what you might win!”

Randall flashes up a Trope - the words Happily Ever After visible - before it's snatched away.