“Esteemed Muses welcome to this week’s Shipping Forecast now with extra shipping and extra forecasts! Today we have not one, not two but three, THREE whole couples coming live to you Muses on three heart pumping soul stopping dates, exclusive only on Jo TV. Subscribe now for this premium content!”

Commercial break

“We are back dear Muses and here we have our first couple its Joseph Caesar, a bright young inquisitive with a bowtie collection to die for, together with his enthusiastic might-be boo, part of a new Academy sanctioned pop duo sensation. Let’s take a look at how he attempts to woo woo this pop princess.”

The screen behind Lemon Zest lights up, it’s clearly drone footage, zooming in on Joseph waiting at the entrance of an amusement park, he adjusts his bowtie, as Fall walks towards him, she goes in for a hug, while he attempts to shake her hand. They blush and awkwardly apologize. He asks before taking her hand, leading her into the park.

“What a wholesome couple folks! I’m getting diabetes from all his candy sweetness!”

Joseph buys Fall a cotton candy, and they share it, Fall giggles at how Joseph tastes small bits of it at a time.

“Let’s move over to something grittier, how are Cyrus and Archie doing I wonder?”

With a remote that has a gaudy heart shapped antenna, Lemon clicks a button to change the channel, and the screen now shows Archie and Cyrus, as they walk out of the Academy buildings, Cyrus looks into the camera and scowls. Archie laughs and straightens his tie, saying something about smiling for the audience. They take a walk through the nearby park before heading for dinner. Cyrus whispers to Archie in a serious tone, then Archie boldly grabs his hand.

Gasps ripple through the audience.

Cyrus turns beet red, unable to stammer out any words as he struggles to compose himself, it’s adorable honestly. Archie’s shit eating grin, looking every bit happy at how nervous Cyrus appears to be, only adds to this blossoming partnership.

“How unexpected! Cyrus is just a cutie isn’t he, looks like Archie’s got what it takes to make him melt~”

Lemon laughs herself and the audience cheers

“Will they be our top couple? Perhaps. But there’s one couple to go~ Dave from Finance and Long-Tongued Jack – the dark horse in this competion.”

The channel turns to Dave and Jack, the first couple who barely look at the camera as they walk towards food for thought. Jack smiles easily as he leans his arms on the table and Dave’s shoulders visible relax. He orders a “Forebodding Image” but just as the server leaves, he changes his order. “No, Actually I’ll have a Dark Tempation.” He locks eyes with Jack as he makes the correction. Jack barely flinches as he runs his hands through curly hair under his hood.

Several members of the audience are fanning themselves, a couple whistles emerge, and Lemon quiets them down.

The two lapse into their usual conversation, existential situations as they argue about fracking and factions. Eventually they leave. Dave walks Jack to where a rip in the sky appears, they meet up with Tek and Finn. Jack turns around, about to head into the sky where he may never come back. As he walks away, Dave lifts his hand, his mouth opens.

No one in the audience dares breath.

But Dave says nothing. His hand drops, unable to reach out. Jack offers to buy him a drink the next week. Dave is struck, and can say nothing but yes.

As the recording fades. Lemon Zest wipes a few tears from her eyes.

“That was… so… so sad…” She says between sobs. A few audience members also seem to be crying. As they calm down, Vance Vorn steps back on the podium, clearing his throat as he turns on the charm.

“That’s it for today Muses! Remember to cast your vote! JoTV will be sending a reminder soon with all couples listed. Remember its’ not too late to sign up! And you too could be up to win one of our amazing prizes! Rank IV Trope cards are up for grabs. All to promote Love through Jo, Love With Jo and Love of Jo! Thank you so much for tuning in and see you all next week!”

“Dear Muses, today we bring to you - first-hand - the danger of memeification.” Holding the microphone is a passionate IDK. “Memeification is a danger to everyone. It disturbs the normal feedback between creativity and Juice received and accelerates the Fading process.”

The camera moves behind IDK and focuses on some Fading Muses lying on hospital beds, tended to by volunteer Muses. IDK hands the microphone to a Muse dressed like the other volunteers.

“You have worked on the front-line between Muses and memeification, helping those most badly affected. What would you like to tell the people of Spindle?”

“Do not participate in the spreading of the meme,” Warns the volunteer, “Avoiding the memeifying topic may mean that you get less Juice, but taking part in it is far too dangerous - you get more Juice at first, but it is a process of diminishing return, which also damages your creativity. Always remember, it is real creativity that is rewarded. Memes are the opposite of creativity.”

“Thank you. And now, we shall show you the horrific damage memeification does to our precious Vignettes.”

The scene changes and IDK is climbing a black stone staircase.

“This is an art piece done by the Pure Inspiration artist Marianna Garnet. As you can see, the stairs are built in the shape of the impossible tribar - but they are supposed to reveal the impossibility of the illusion, not reinforce it. And yet…” The camera draws further away to show IDK climbing the staircase that does in fact connect, somehow, just like the optical illusion would suggest. She climbs and climbs and there is no end.

“This, too, is the influence of memeification. As you can see,” The camera closes in on the steps IDK is climbing, you hear IDK's voice but can't see their voice, though their voice sounds a little trance like, “inscribed on each step is a word from the phrase: At last, we have the freedom to love, the freedom to think - ”

The audio cuts and so does the video. Then the video comes back up to a different speaker.

“And now the official statement issued by the Academy. The Academy asks all law-abiding citizens to cease the use of all Tropes relating to themes of freedom and self-determination immediately. Any information on the origin of the phrase and the Muse(s) responsible will be greatly rewarded. Any attempts to spread the memeification further will be dealt with harshly.”